estrella_m

...i'll probably never write in this again.

But I'll leave it up because what do I care? If not only for that reason, then for the world to know (or at least whoever, for whatever reason, will come across this journal?!)... that:

I love YOU, Christopher J. Connors, more than ANYTHING.

...i will be here for you forever. I will love you forever. and....... i am yours forever.

Well, there's the most meaningful post I've ever written. :)

i will follow you into the dark...

<3

AND I TAG katiesaurusplz

So.... apparently if you get "tagged" you must oblige..... being tagged means that you have to write 8 facts/habits about yourself and then tag 6 of your other friends.... here i go...

i was tagged by inspiredlife

1. i work at best buy... i love it and will be going to some workshops in minnesota for it in september :) YAY.

2. i am NOT a morning person....

3. i just bought a new car... an 06 jetta. I love it.... it fits me perfectly and it is cooler than YOU.

4. i currently am craving noodles.......

5. i miss the 8th grade.. is that weird? I guess not... Hei-Yue would understand ;)

6. i am semi in love with Guitar Hero for ps2 ;)

7. it is tax free weekend tomorrow and sunday and i work at the second biggest RETAILER in the world........ shoot me now.

8. per maya's request... my toenails are pink :-D


UMMMM sadly enough, i dont think i know 6 people on lj.. although i might.... so whoever they are, i tag them: sukr4acoustik, ktlb, oxoheyyouoxo, jaked409 and kate but i dont know her username oops :-P

so it is my last night on the lovely island of aruba. to anybody who has never been here, u HAVE to take the time and come... just dont do it with a family who has a semi crazy mother and 2 kids who are cuter than cute but who after a few hours, you can hardly stand to look at anymore....

i'm sorry, did i say all of that out loud?! haha anyways..... i can't complain, i got a free ride here and it is a GORGEOUS island... oh my goodness... it is the epitome of a paradise. the people here are ridiculously nice and helpful.... the prices are a little crazy, but other than that... i have met some great great people and i have had so much fun. i have played volleyball every single day at 4:30 and that's been awesome... cuz it has actually been GOOD volleyball... not shitty volleyball... haha... umm there have maybe been two cute boys... maybe... lol... oh well too bad they live here...... we exchanged emails! YES! gotta love the interweb...

the drinking age here is 18.. now, mind u, if u know me, u know that i don't really drink... but i do enjoy to have a drink every now and again just because... just to have it, NOT to get drunk - because that just isn't my thing, u know? well, anyways, i think that that has made it soooo much better for me here cuz... back in boston, all my friends who are 21 and up, which would be a fair amount, are like "shit, u cant come out with us.. we are going to a bar" and that's just gay, cuz i wouldnt be drinking at that bar anyway.. probably... at least here, i can just have a daiquiri and chill out with no worries..

^that whole paragraph made NO sense, but WHaTeVER!!!

i dont want to go back up to my room... that means that my bed (the sofa) will be inhabited by children... the disney channel will be playing... there will be insanity because there will be packing. i just don't wanna be there.

i think i will go sit on a pool chair and feel the breeze.

ohhhhh there are iguanas and little blue and green lizards all over the place too! they are SOoOoOooOooOOo cute! i want one!

and i have deduced that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to go ANYWHERE away from home and not buy people stuff.. haha it is a sickness :( except, i think when i go to wisconsin, i will probably resist that urge... LOL......

**sigh** i am so glad to be going home, but at the same time...... i wanna stay in paradise forever................

how has everyone been? and by everyone, here on lj, i mean like 5 people... my friends list on here is kinda pathetic :( ALTHOUGH, all of the people on it MAJORLY KICK ASS... which makes up for it being so small, lol.... KISSES!!!!!!

i really hardly ever update this thing, although i am constantly on to read about other people's lives lol ;)

i am in aruba........ a lil sunburnt :( but still it is very nice. it is my idea of PERFECT weather....... sunny but BREEZY! it is always breezy, i love it sooooo much..... i wish that i didn't have the responsibility of watching the kids that i came here to watch, but i was full aware that that was why i was coming, so i really can't say much....

leah comes home tomorrow, and i won't be there... i'd say that is pretty uncool.... oh well.... i guess it will be all that much better when i get home the 25th!!

katie is moving back to oregon :(

i go to wisconsin in a month, yay!!

i can't go to sean and suzanne's wedding shower this sunday :(

i got a promotion at work, for those who don't know... :-D yay!

i feel like i am in a ross/rachel type of situation with this guyyyyyy... ughhhhhhhh.......

i am listening to magic 106.7 while here in aruba... online. is that bad? haha

omg there are iguanas all over the place here, and little lizards, it is so cute :-D

okay i think i am gonna go watch friends now...............................

::yawn::

there is so much going on.

high school = OVER.
maya = coming tomorrow!
how are we getting to prom? LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

work........... that's it. i'm out.

i love kids. i'm at montessori right now, and earlier i was asked to watch some kids for a bit so i was in a room with 9 kids and i was reading a book and it was amazing (not the book..... but reading it to them haha) they made me smile. they were awesome. kids are awesome. :)

i am very sleep deprived at the moment.

i had an uuuurge to go to plaster fun time today. LEAH AND KATIE: WHEN ARE WE GOING AGAIN??!?!? haha, i think that we should finish up the whole "red wall" (that's the $7.99 one lol) and then move up, what do u guys think?!?!?!??!

oh man, so, i not only went to mr. bhs, which made me an actual high schooler, but now i actually have a prom date... and i was asked... which i feel like, makes me even more of a high schooler. gag me.... wow i can be cynical lol

today i went to baker and saw a lot of my old teachers which was cool, but it was quick - i wanna go again.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i'm off to prepare for my super exciting meeting at 7pm tonight at montessori. this should be fun. it will include yelling people and confusion. and me calming people down. hopefully.

oh btw, i graduate exactly one month from today. 06.04.06. i cannot wait. :)


keepmeinformed,thanks

Sometimes I wonder how I act so irrationally, when, really, I am a pretty rational person.

Lately, I've found myself needing/craving certain music choices to calm me down... Boyz II Men, anyone? How bout Des'ree? Right now, a Michael W. Smith song came on Phe's ipod and I am definitely feelin it.

It's been a while since I've sat down and thought about things. I acted in a way that made me ashamed of myself yesterday (on more than one occassion, at that), and it's caused me to step back and realize that I have been so wrapped up in a billion different things as of late, that I don't even know what I am saying or doing most of the time. My priorities have been all screwed up. Kinda hit me all of a sudden and "Oh Shit," is all I can come up with. Oh so intelligent, I know. I need to step back and breathe. Really glad I realized it though.

Hmmm... I'm sorry. To you, and you, and you... I receive unconditional love and I somehow fail to reciprocate in a positive fashion. I am shown immense respect and I let something that I don't know how to describe, get in the way of me letting that bounce off of me and right back to them. Sometimes I bury myself under all of this stuff that I feel is my responsibility, and don't consider the upkeep of it, as well as my sanity.

Hey, that's what I get for bein an old soul in this newly 18 year old body, right?

But I'm comin' up...

As Leah would say, "I'm tired of all the sunsets. I need a sunrise." or somethin like that :) Not that I have encountered too many sunsets... but I have enabled myself to create sunsets out of things that wouldn't normally be so. Ya know? Haha, now that I have made no sense at all..... thanks for readin. Any wise words for this young'n?

lookmeinmyeyesandtellmewhatisonyourmindnowiamprepared

sooo... may 1st is the all important date when i either tell Bridgewater that I am going to their school in the fall, or not...

I still have to talk to the lady from U of Phoenix/Axia online. blahhhhh i wish i was rich lol

I'm in Paul's office at the Restaurant at school aaaaaand I'm bored... got here at 6:30, been cooking breakfast since then... we added homemade waffles to the menu... good times.

I don't work til tomorrow... 2 days off in a row - something I don't see often.

I need a car.

I wonder how my department is doing at work..... I should find out.




it was all different when it was all new... better different. *siiiigh*

im lovin that gucci linen.....

lol don't ask, i dno... i'm not tired for some really odd reason although i am yawning, i don't feel tired.... lisis and i threw a surprise bday party for her mom tonight, or last night or whatever... at taty's house and it was lots of fun, i actually saw a bunch of random people that i hadnt seen in a real long time, which was nice. lots of dancin :-D salsa! :-D which always makes me smile.

i haven't updated this thing in forever, i have no time to - and when i do have time to, i have no effort............... yawwwwnnnn...... my bro n i left the party at 2:15ish and everyone was like, "ur leavin already?!" haha... it made me laugh. maybe i am a lil tired lol

marco spilled a corona on me :( well, on my pants. and i had smirnoff ice - it had been a while, i forgot how good it is.
okay and now im typing 3 words per minute cuz im that tired. ghnujeirfmked

very non exciting post, i know :( deal with it.

why are you still up?

ohh man i wish sometimes most of the time, that people, no matter who they are, didn't feel that they needed to be a part of every little thing in your life. cuz it is myyyyyy life.. can i please make my own decisions? please? would that be alright with you? no, probly not. oh well though, too bad... from today on... i feel like shit and i wish that i didn't have to, but i can't be open with u because that option isn't even an option anymore. sucks. we have been going around in circles almost all my life. i think that after this choice i've just made, although it sucks, and i feel like shit, we may get along a little better. hopefully we will. i just want to get through this last school year and be out. ohhh how i wish i lived alone. or with a roommate or 2, of my choice. that would kick ass.

i can hardly articulate my thoughts properly right now. actually, i can't.
ahh i just sneezed.

and can i just say that i have some of the most bestest friends ever. you guys are doin an awesome job of being.... yourselves, which is absolutely amazing. and i'm not talking about my 2oo whatever buddies on aim or on myspace, im talkin about u choice few... u kno who u r. u guys keep me goin.



In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. <-- i like that. a lot.

what's goin on in everyone elses life? lemi kno :-D

at montessori. haven't been here in a whiiiiiile! chillin wit phe.. kinda.. she just left me to calm down an excited sr. rose and find out what the hell she needs us to do for her lol.... aaanyways..... i love u too phe! woo hoo... despite the whole 60gb ipod thing. :( moving on........ lol

so i was in cali for a week, and that was AMAZING. although it was flooding and what not.... it was great... cuz i was in awesome company (maya and nicole) and i wish i could have brought them both back in my suitcase :( i miss them.

iiiiiii............ finally have gotten my butt into gear for that whole college thing. those papers i'm supposed to fill out.... applications, yes? lol yeahhhh... and that fafsa form and what not.........yeahh.. i guess i'm doin that too.

umass boston
johnson n wales
bridgewater state

still open to university of phoenix online, though.
argument with my dad that i was dreading, about college, is over.. we got that out yesterday... it was HELLA fun. now, since he's nosy, i get to argue about birth control... it's gonna be awesome... (lol dont ask........ although leah and phe already knowwww sooooo.... yeah)
alright, i gotta go do work now.
phe will be pleased. she's also right in front of me. good shit. :-P

i'm in cali! woooo hooooo!!! hehe... i've been here since monday, and time has been flyyyyying! which SUCKS, because i don't want to go back to school. ever. and i dont wanna leave my sisters =(

i love that i am here with maya and nicole... we have had some crazy ass times so far.... we decided that if we made a movie of the 3 of us just being ourselves, we would make millions. lol.

i have been texting like craaaaaaazy.... it is really very difficult to convince somebody to not get married because you know that they shouldn't... it's really hard to make them listen.. :(


it's all about signs....send me a sign.

EVERYBODY: I WENT OUT WITH PHE THE OTHER DAY TO FRESH CITY AND IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND WE HAD NOODLES AND THEY WERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY GOOD :-D

anyways, so it JUST turned to christmas: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay i am so excited - christmas is my favorite favorite favorite favorite favoritest holiday EVER!!!!! yessss.... and cali in TWO DAYS!!!... i can't STFU about it ;)

anyways, once again, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

leahh is here and she says hello and merry christmas too... although she just left the room lol




ring.................am i ok?

sooo it's definitely been a whiiiiiiiile. because, if i havent been working, i've been at school, and if u havent been there i've been shopping for xmas presents, and if not that, then attempting to sleep.. and then if not that, i havent had time to be on the computer. anyways, you dont care. lol

anyways, cali in FOUR DAYS!!!!!! i can't effin WAIT to see maya! yayyyyyyyyy
i know i'll miss home though.. i always do... the place itself, whenever i'm somewhere else, even if just for a week, i imagine being at home in my room. and then when i come back i'm like shiiiit. haha.


i dont really have much else to say! last day of school was today and then i wrote a CRAP ASS paper... aaaand then i babysat and gave eric his xmas present (ipod shuffle, yayyy!) aaand thennnn.... i went home and now i am here aaaand awaiting a phone call... muahz gnite. wassup wit everyone for the holidays?

sowhenisayimissyou..imeanimisstheoldyou..

sooooooooooooo i'm at mi casa... with leah.. we have had a fun filled day; full of toys r us (WE BOUGHT A HUUUUUUGE HORSE!!! 4 a lil kid.....) :( i want one! lol... aaand we played operation, and it was AMAZING..

and i bought a toaster. :-D yayyyy for faster toasting in the mornings for breakfast... woooo hooooo

aaaaand so i realized today how much more i like giving than receiving ;) i mean, i already knew i did... but i really realized it today.. i cant wait for avery and hadley aaand marissa and gracie and sophie to open their presents on christmas :) esp. hadley and avery...... good shit, man. and i love making people happy..... much love, alejandrO! hehe

ooookay well im gonna let leah use the PERSONAL COMPUTER now.

wassup wit all u ppl?

i really really really hope that it snows tomorrow like it's supposed to; i mean, ideally, i would rather it snow tonight so that there would be no school tomorrow, but let me not ask for too much...

sooooo there isn't much to really update because i've just been working lately, BUT, that's life... haha...

i'm at montessori right now... AAAAAND phe did a friends only post, but magically, I couldn't see it, which means that she took me off of her friends list - although she denies it! :-P is all i have to say to you! haha

aaaanyways, no deep thoughts this time around... i just can't wait for Christmas :) I went shopping at Dudley today... gooood stuff.... dollar earrings n shiiit.

but MOSTLY, i can't wait for December 26th!!! Because that's when I'm going to Cali to see maya! and i'll be over in cali for new years... woooo hooooo!!!

jay got promoted - yay for him :) aaaaaaand i'm gonna go now! hehe

ohhhh AND i got a new phone... it's sexy.... if ya wanna see it, i'm sure you've already seen me attached to it, BUT if not, then it's from verizon... model LG VX9800.. go google it :)

hugs n what not... show me some love :)

ya know... i've had one of those days where i've thought about alotta shit and... i havent really come to any conclusions, soooo there was really no good point to me saying that... :-\ lolol....

whatever. soooooo.. GO LEAH for doing your college shit!! the more people ask me about it the less i care and the less i even want to hear the word 'college.' all i have to say on that subject is that, it is MY life, it is NEVER too late, and you only LEARN from mistakes... soooo... lemmi elaborate a little: MY life, i will do what I feel is right, for ME (whether it really is or not, who knows, it is what I FEEL.) 2: it is NEVER too late, soooo if i decide to change my mind from whatever i decide to do, or not to do or whatever then i can always do it.... you only live one life, same with me, so let me live it to the fullest as i want to, and make my decisions when I see fit. and 3: if i make a mistake, i will LEARN from it... we all know i am stubborn so TELLING me what i am going to do and what i'm not gonna do doesnt mean shit... have faith... and if you are one of the people shaking their heads saying that i'm dumb and making a mistake for whatever reason: F U. u dont know me, you never will, and just hushhhhh cause i'm not a baby. thanks. i dno who i was really getting that out to... but uhhh now it's out there! :-P

text messaggggeeeeee.... yayyyyy since i've been feeling neglected and ignored in that spectrum haha. jayyyyy....

mmk im at MES, done with work and am going to babysit tonight and read 583944567489 pages in the book we are reading for english aaaaand then writing the first draft to an english paper.

talk to meeeee people. talk :)

lol you know, although i work too much, i really do love my job. i had a good time today - no spectacular sales or anything, which is okay, because that's only one day out of the other 658746754 that i work. i was kinda upste cuz this family was supposed to come back for a nice sale. :(

anyways, phe came in today and got hooked up with a geek squad in home networking jig! woooo hoooo!! hehe...

and i dont realy have too much to say, considering i already posted today and everything... payasa just fell asleep on me and she is very warm and SOOOO cute; i love my puppy SOOOO fn much.


mmmmk, pickin leah up at south station in an hour or so... sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.






i'll change your tire

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy everyone!

sooooo, i didn't go to school yesterday, because i had one of my random episodes where i wake up and kind of black out and am super dizzy.... it was not fun. not at all. sooo, i slept til 4:30 in the pm, and woke up and still felt kind of shitty....... but then i got better, after i talked to my sanity... aaaand yeah, that was about it.

now i'm at school... first and only day this week - there's no way i'm going to the pep rally tomorrow, what the hell do i look like?

aaand leah, i hope u feel better! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

what's everybody doing for Thanksgiving? let me knooowww ;)